I'm assuming these were rhetorical questions. I don't think they wanted me to actually estimate a degree of stupidity in this case. I'm not sure there is a good way to measure stupidity. There are meters and systems for measuring a lot of things, but as far as I know there is no stupidity index.
About all I could say to these e-mails was "very stupid." And in this particular case, maybe "very drunk" as well.
We also have had reports where someone said he got beat up because he did not pay for his illicit drugs. We have had reports where someone robbed a store and left his photo identification on the counter. We had one story where a person reported that he had been burglarized and when the police showed up to investigate, they found marijuana growing behind a shed. Oops!
But don't get the idea that Moultrie owns a franchise for stupid criminals. In Columbus, Ohio, this week a robber was arrested after he returned to his victim's home two hours later and asked her for a date. That old saying "adding insult to injury" comes to mind. As well, I think of comedian Ron White's observation, "you can't fix stupid."
In my early years, I began noticing the tendency of most criminals to not be very smart. A case in point was when someone pulled up to my neighbor's grain bin and stole a load of shelled corn. The culprit didn't fasten his tailgate too well, and he left a stream of corn all the way to the feed mill where he was arrested as he was waiting to unload. All the officer had to do was follow "the yellow brick road."
Somewhere between dumb and dumber there are those thieves and thugs who are rather comical as well. They often make the Tonight Show's list of American oddities or maybe David Letterman's segment called "Small Town News."
For instance, right down the road in Bayou George, Fla., a man was arrested when he stole a beer.
He added salt to his own wounds when he got combative with the arresting officers because they would not let him drink the beer he had just stolen. He did not realize that they did him a favor because then he could have been charged with destroying evidence.
But given all the charges he now faces, it might not have made much difference. He is charged with assault, shoplifting, battery, possession of marijuana and smuggling contraband into a detention facility.
Trying to smuggle contraband into a detention center? I know it happens a lot but how smart is it to actually go to the jail house with drugs in your possession?
Not long ago on cable TV I once again enjoyed watching Tim Conway and Don Knotts in the "Apple Dumpling Gang." Only now, after years of reading crime reports, I consider that flick a "documentary" as opposed to just a slapstick production.
