Expect more prostitutes to hang themselves, US government says

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Expect more prostitutes to hang themselves, US government says

Written by Edi2or

Monday, 21 July 2008 09:12

The Bush administration and leading members of Congress issued statements today warning Americans to brace themselves for more prostitute hangings.

White House Press Secretary Dana Perino said the Bush administration and Congress received word from domestic intelligence sources that more hangings are on the way.

"Prostitutes in Washington, DC are upset over Deborah Jeane Palfrey's tragic suicide," Perino said in a White House briefing room. "They are currently organizing sympathy suicides to protest her passing. The Department of Homeland Security is picking up chatter to that effect through its domestic intelligence gathering efforts."

Palfrey - also known as the "DC Madam" who ran a call girl ring in the Washington, DC area that serviced senior members of the US government - was found hanged in her mother's shed in Tarpon Springs, Florida. She said in an interview last year that she would not commit suicide.

Perino was asked by a reporter if any of the prostitutes that are planning to commit suicide this week had senior members of the US government as their clients.

"That information is classified and affects national security, so I cannot comment," she said. "But if it turns out to be true, the president would like to assure everyone that the prostitutes' clients will be prosecuted, no matter who they are - assuming the prostitutes involved don't hang themselves this week and can testify in a court of law."

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid issued a statement calling on all DC prostitutes not to hang themselves.

"It would be a tragedy if some of the DC prostitutes who are going to hang themselves this happened to have high-ranking members of government as their clients," Reid said. "If the prostitutes involved don't survive, then we will never find out who among us in government was involved with call girls. So please don't hang yourself, Jennifer Owens."

The Department of Homeland Security plans to work in conjunction with the Federal Bureau of Investigation to try to stop the prostitutes from hanging themselves. FBI agents plan to sit in doughnut shops and drink coffee for the next few days, in the hope that some of the prostitutes may stop by and ask for advice on whether they should hang themselves or not.

For its part, the Central Intelligence Agency plans to work with the Mafia to track down the prostitutes and tie them up if they try to hang themselves. The CIA has ordered a large quantity of nylon rope to support the effort.

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